Last night i experienced some of the worst pain in a long time. one side of my abs were experiencing sharp pains, and it went on for almost 45 minutes. Wes laid with me until the pain finally subsided a bit. this morning i awoke with a sore ovary, it feels like someone punched me.
i also woke up feeling a little more optimistic. i plan on calling the doctor tomorrow and ask her what my next steps will be and how soon we should start conceiving again.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
The emotions of it all
the first month of TTC (Trying To Conceive)
The original plan- TTC this summer.
The dietary changes- adding more foods that have Vitamin E, taking prenatals and quitting caffeine. all this based on research on the web and talking to the gyno.
March- a light just went on and said 'im ready'. A combination of a lot of things prompted me to want to try now. My sister in law expecting in September, she is just glowing! seeing my cute niece and nephew around, and all the cute baby stuff on Pinterest! hehe. of course my age plays a huge role too, all the statistics of women trying to get pregnant after they turn 30. and , also, the incident that pained me, and made me think about how people treat me and in turn- made me create this little blog.
March 22- we do the deed. and we do the deed for a few days. this is my first time trying to time my ovulation with our bedroom romance. and making sure we did it every two or three days, as i my gyno told me that semen stays inside me for 3 days.
I did start my period and i was okay. cause it was just the first month.
I did have a breakdown though mid april. and it was trying to schedule Wes with my cycle and he didn't come home til way late. i felt very discouraged as i have in my head that there are only certain times during my cycle where im fertile. and also, i started to see housing prices go up on the internet. and i panicked and felt like i didn't want to miss out on that opportunity either. I was just feeling like i was going to miss the boat, so to speak. Wes didn't know i was looking at houses, and it is something i do just casually, as i get the emails of new listings everyday.
after a good cry and a good talk, we decided to try and wait to get the money from my mom first and maybe pay down some bills, work on my financial situation as well. and find a good time to tell the landlords too, since we are on a two year lease.
April
I finally timed my ovulation cycle right- looking for the signs and stuff. i did it perfectly i think. and this time it was fun, except the one night when wes came home late. But, i just had this surge of estrogen for about a week and everytime we did it, i felt like - maybe this is it.
Wes kept saying i was pregnant, and i would get fearful of him jinxing it,,,so i would just say stuff like 'no im not" because i knew i couldn't test for two weeks after my most fertile days. well two weeks also means my period. I knew if i started my period than i wouldn't be pregnant.
All the pms symptoms came like clockwork- fatigue, hunger, bloatiness and all the emotions.
and then my period started - perfect timing- two weeks. This period was different though. it was incredibly painful and heavy. i felt like i was losing my entire blood supply and the pain was constant. i had to leave work early, and the next day the period at work was uncomfortable- and even though people didn't know, i was just embarrassed.
i took another day off, as i noticed the bleeding was still heavy and wes suggested i call my doctor. i left a message and waited for the call back.
a ton of things are going through my head like maybe my body is just getting used to the semen and is trying to adjust and hence the heavy period, i even thought about my diet, what did i eat the week prior, was it all the beer i drank, was it because i had chocolate, and chocolate has caffeine in it?
the phone rings- the nurse gives me the explanation i wasn't really prepared for. " you probably got pregnant and it didn't hold, so now you are passing it. 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage"
so i miscarried?
my emotions are both sad and hopeful. i cry off and on, at the same time i think, hey, at least my body isn't rejecting his sperm. i also think- what did i do wrong during that two week period to make it not hold the pregnancy? ive decided not to drink and really really watch my diet post ovulation. i've been doing everything right, but the drinking has really got to stop. however- we had a good time doing it and we had alot of fun memories- beer sampling, hog wallow, huddle.
lets see how it goes in May...
The original plan- TTC this summer.
The dietary changes- adding more foods that have Vitamin E, taking prenatals and quitting caffeine. all this based on research on the web and talking to the gyno.
March- a light just went on and said 'im ready'. A combination of a lot of things prompted me to want to try now. My sister in law expecting in September, she is just glowing! seeing my cute niece and nephew around, and all the cute baby stuff on Pinterest! hehe. of course my age plays a huge role too, all the statistics of women trying to get pregnant after they turn 30. and , also, the incident that pained me, and made me think about how people treat me and in turn- made me create this little blog.
March 22- we do the deed. and we do the deed for a few days. this is my first time trying to time my ovulation with our bedroom romance. and making sure we did it every two or three days, as i my gyno told me that semen stays inside me for 3 days.
I did start my period and i was okay. cause it was just the first month.
I did have a breakdown though mid april. and it was trying to schedule Wes with my cycle and he didn't come home til way late. i felt very discouraged as i have in my head that there are only certain times during my cycle where im fertile. and also, i started to see housing prices go up on the internet. and i panicked and felt like i didn't want to miss out on that opportunity either. I was just feeling like i was going to miss the boat, so to speak. Wes didn't know i was looking at houses, and it is something i do just casually, as i get the emails of new listings everyday.
after a good cry and a good talk, we decided to try and wait to get the money from my mom first and maybe pay down some bills, work on my financial situation as well. and find a good time to tell the landlords too, since we are on a two year lease.
April
I finally timed my ovulation cycle right- looking for the signs and stuff. i did it perfectly i think. and this time it was fun, except the one night when wes came home late. But, i just had this surge of estrogen for about a week and everytime we did it, i felt like - maybe this is it.
Wes kept saying i was pregnant, and i would get fearful of him jinxing it,,,so i would just say stuff like 'no im not" because i knew i couldn't test for two weeks after my most fertile days. well two weeks also means my period. I knew if i started my period than i wouldn't be pregnant.
All the pms symptoms came like clockwork- fatigue, hunger, bloatiness and all the emotions.
and then my period started - perfect timing- two weeks. This period was different though. it was incredibly painful and heavy. i felt like i was losing my entire blood supply and the pain was constant. i had to leave work early, and the next day the period at work was uncomfortable- and even though people didn't know, i was just embarrassed.
i took another day off, as i noticed the bleeding was still heavy and wes suggested i call my doctor. i left a message and waited for the call back.
a ton of things are going through my head like maybe my body is just getting used to the semen and is trying to adjust and hence the heavy period, i even thought about my diet, what did i eat the week prior, was it all the beer i drank, was it because i had chocolate, and chocolate has caffeine in it?
the phone rings- the nurse gives me the explanation i wasn't really prepared for. " you probably got pregnant and it didn't hold, so now you are passing it. 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage"
so i miscarried?
my emotions are both sad and hopeful. i cry off and on, at the same time i think, hey, at least my body isn't rejecting his sperm. i also think- what did i do wrong during that two week period to make it not hold the pregnancy? ive decided not to drink and really really watch my diet post ovulation. i've been doing everything right, but the drinking has really got to stop. however- we had a good time doing it and we had alot of fun memories- beer sampling, hog wallow, huddle.
lets see how it goes in May...
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