Today i am much better spirits. my appetite is back and i feel happier than the past 5 days. last night i had a cry after work- alot of stuff went through my head - the stupid eye insurance (long story) the coming home to a dirty house and blaming wes (bad- i know) i just felt like i had this weight on me ( literally too). and after i laid down and had my pity party- i went and watched some tv. put some groceries away and out of no where a surge hit me. i was motivated to cook, and finish grocery shopping and just organize a little bit.

today i am very much myself. i ran onto a friends blog on facebook about her journey to conceive, and although we are not with fertility specialists yet- it was so comforting to know that someone was being vocal about their ups and downs of trying to conceive. i posted on her wall my well wishes, but it didn't show up, so i will send it again. she needs to know she's not alone and can talk to me about her and her husbands struggles. i don't think anyone should have that feeling of not being to be able to talk to someone.

i didn't tell everyone- i told my closest friends- so that i could feel unburdened a bit as i thought the whole thing was my fault. i had many comforting messages. 

Today- had a friend text me a very thoughtful message. and all i could think of was, wow- she was the only one who really genuinely cares about this. it means alot. im meeting her for lunch tomorrow and i feel so lucky to have such a great friend.